Wearing Out Your Welcome
As you come into chapter 31, Jacob and Laban have been working together for the last 20 years. Each has taken steps to try to get the upper hand on the other, and each has taken opportunities to try to turn the needle in their favor.
However, as it usually does in such circumstances, eventually the whole system gets old. As you enter the chapter you find that Jacob has worn out his welcome with the sons of Laban. While Laban does not want Jacob to leave, his sons are ready for their cousin to depart. They feel he is now to the point of taking their inheritance by the volume of the herds he has accumulated.
Jacob has also grown tired of this situation. He states to his wives that the goalposts keep moving and the rules keep changing in his relationship with Laban. Even the daughters of Laban have found the situation tedious and are ready to move on.
When Jacob arrived, everything was grand between he and his mother’s family. However, as often happens, the world has a way of turning what once was good into something distasteful for everyone involved. There were poor choices, underhanded communication, and hurt feelings on every side of the dynamics of this family. Eventually, these actions brought it to a breaking point.
In our lives we need to recognize when we are wearing out our welcome. It should not be due to wrongdoing or bad manners on our part. Nevertheless, even good people, with good hearts, and godly attitudes can wear on one another after a time in close quarters without a break. Different personalities, different temperaments, and different priorities all take their toll.
As you study chapter 31, consider it from the standpoint of wearing out one’s welcome. When is the right time, and the right approach, for a departure from close friends or family? Finally, consider the applications we can make in our lives.
CHAPTER 31
Jacob Decides to Leave Laban’s Employ. (Vs. 1-16)
A period of 6 years passes between the end of chapter 30 and the beginning of chapter 31. (Vs. 38)
Laban’s sons have begun to complain about the amount of wealth Jacob has gained while working for Laban. (Vs. 1)
They accuse Jacob of having taken away the wealth of Laban.
They also state that Jacob has used their father to obtain all of the wealth he has accumulated.
Jacob sees that Laban is being influenced by his sons and has changed his attitude toward Jacob. (Vs. 2)
The Lord speaks to Jacob and tells him it is time for him to return home. (Vs. 3)
Jacob discusses the situation with Leah and Rachel. (Vs. 4-16)
They come out to him in the field of his flock. (Vs. 4)
Jacob tells them of the situation. (Vs. 5-13)
Laban’s attitude has changed, but God has remained with him. (Vs. 5)
He has worked diligently for Laban. (Vs. 6)
However, Laban has been less than forthright with Jacob. (Vs. 7)
Laban has deceived him.
Laban also changed his wages on 10 different occasions.
However, the Lord had not allowed anything to happen that would have harmed Jacob.
The way in which God has watched out for Jacob. (Vs. 8-9)
Every time changes were made to the arrangement; God has worked them for good.
Jacob’s flocks are now greater than Laban’s.
Jacob recounts what the Lord told him. (Vs. 10-13)
He tells them it occurred during the time of conception for the “cattle.” (Vs. 10)
He also says that the Lord came to him in a dream. (Vs. 11)
God told Jacob he had seen all that Laban had done to Jacob and it was time for Jacob to return home. (Vs. 12-13)
God uses the fact that the majority of the cattle are the speckled and striped to show he has taken care of Jacob.
God also ensures that Jacob understands who he’s hearing by stating that he is the same God who appeared to him in Bethel. (Gen. 28)
Rachel and Leah respond to Jacob. (Vs. 14-16)
They initially respond by asking if there is any portion or inheritance left in their father’s house. (Vs. 14)
The question is intended to be rhetorical, as will be shown by their next statements.
Their assertion to Jacob is that they have no reason to want to stay.
They have been counted by Laban as strangers (outsiders) because of their marriage to Jacob. (Vs. 15)
They accuse Laban of having “sold” them to Jacob in exchange for Jacob’s expertise. (Vs. 15)
It is interesting to note their reasoning for that assertion.
Laban’s mind-set was not looking toward who would be a better husband for his daughters but was only geared toward keeping Jacob for his own prosperity.
Laban’s daughters (rightfully) resented their father’s attitude, though not necessarily their husband.
They feel that they are receiving their inheritance by the blessings God has bestowed upon Jacob in that they will be transferred to their children. (Vs. 16)
They conclude by stating that Jacob should do whatever God told him. (Vs. 16)
Laban Pursues and Catches Jacob. (Vs. 17-35)
With the decision having been made, Jacob prepares his family for the move. (Vs. 17)
The mode of travel for his family will be camels.
His wives and sons all have camels upon which to ride. These would have been accumulated over the previous 6 years. (Gen. 30:43)
He also prepares all of his livestock and possessions for the trip home. (Vs. 18)
Everything he owns has been accumulated since arriving in Padan-Aram.
He came to the land 20 years earlier with nothing. Now, he will leave with 4 wives, 12 children, and a host of livestock and possessions.
During this preparation to leave, Laban is out shearing his sheep, so Rachel takes the household idols her father possessed. (Vs. 19)
Laban, evidently, did not consider God to be the only true god.
However, notice that there is no indication as to why Rachel stole the idols. Though there are a couple of possibilities.
She intended to worship them herself. (Scripture does not indicate her ever worshiping such images)
She took them to spite her father. (This is far more likely considering the responses of Rachel and Leah in the previous verses)
It should also be noted that Jacob has no knowledge of what his wife is doing in this regard. (Vs. 32)
Jacob takes his family and leaves without telling a soul, heading toward Mt. Gilead. (Vs. 20-21)
It takes 3 days for Laban to find out that Jacob has gone. When this discovery is made, he gathers up his kinsmen and heads out after them. The pursuit lasts 7 days. (Vs. 22-23)
During the course of this pursuit, God gives a warning to Laban. (Vs. 24)
God comes to Laban in a dream, telling him that he is not to speak to Jacob good or bad.
The point God makes to Laban is that he is not to approach Jacob out of happiness or anger.
Jacob is doing what God has told him to do; Laban has no right to interfere or to try to convince Jacob to change his mind.
Laban confronts Jacob. (Vs. 25-30)
When Laban finally catches up to Jacob, he has a few questions for him.
He asks him why he left like he did and compares his leaving to a thief taking his daughters captive by the sword. (Vs. 26)
He asks why Jacob did not allow him to send him off with a going-away party. (Vs. 27)
He also wants to know why he was not allowed to tell his daughters and grandchildren goodbye. (Vs. 28)
Laban proclaims that Jacob has acted foolishly in the way that he left, and that if it were not for what God had told Laban earlier, he might have acted differently. (Vs. 28-30)
He concludes by stating that he knows Jacob has wanted to go home for some time now and inquires as to why he has resorted to stealing his “gods.” (Vs. 30)
Jacob’s response to Laban. (Vs. 31-32)
Jacob tells Laban that he left the way he did because he was afraid of Laban’s reaction. (Vs. 31)
Jacob was afraid that Laban would not allow his daughters to leave with him.
He was also concerned about having his entire family with him when he returned home.
Jacob, out of ignorance of what has occurred, states that whoever is found to have stolen the images should be put to death. (Vs. 32)
Laban cannot find the images among their belongings. (Vs. 33-35)
Laban goes from tent to tent searching for the images. (Vs. 33)
When he comes to Rachel’s tent, Rachel has set them among the camel’s saddle and other gear and is sitting on them. (Vs. 34)
She then apologizes to Laban for not getting up, saying the “custom of women” is upon her. (Vs. 35)
The “custom of women” is a reference to the coming of her cycle.
Rachel knows that Laban will not force her to move with this “knowledge” before him.
Therefore, Laban continues to search but cannot find his idols.
Jacob Speaks his Mind to Laban. (Vs. 36-42)
After Laban accuses him of stealing, then searches and finds nothing, Jacob becomes angry and gives Laban a piece of his mind.
He begins by asking what he has done that Laban has so rabidly pursued them. (Vs. 36-37)
He argues that his father-in-law has searched everything he has with him, therefore he should be able to produce the proof of his accusations.
He asks Laban to lay before everyone all that was found so that he might be judged.
He recounts the way he had worked for Laban. (Vs. 38-40)
He has worked for Laban 20 years and has never had problems with the ewes and she-goats miscarrying. (Vs. 38)
Over that time, he has never taken any of Laban’s rams for his own provision. (Vs. 38)
When one of the animals was killed by a wild beast, it was considered his failure and his responsibility to bear the cost of the loss of the animal, whether he was “on duty” at the time or not. (Vs. 39)
He was working through all conditions, whether drought or frost; he was always “on call.” (Vs. 40)
In other words, Jacob has always given everything he has in working for Laban, and now Laban accuses him of stealing.
As far as Jacob is concerned, it has shown an extremely ungrateful and untrustworthy attitude for someone who has employed him for 20 years.
Jacob then levels some charges of his own at Laban. (Vs. 41-42)
He states that in his 20 years of service, Laban has changed his wages 10 times.
We are not told what those changes included, but Laban does not argue the point.
He also makes the accusation that if it had not been for God looking out for him, that Laban would have been content to send him away with nothing. (Vs. 42)
He concludes by stating that God’s having witnessed all he has suffered because of Laban is the reason that God rebuked him the previous night.
A Covenant made between Jacob and Laban. (Vs. 43-55)
Laban, upon hearing the accusations from Jacob, tries to save face as much as possible, knowing that Jacob is correct.
He begins by stating that everything Jacob has is, by origin, his. (Vs. 43)
He then rebuts that he would do nothing to harm his daughters or grandchildren. (Vs. 43)
Laban calls upon Jacob to make a covenant with him. (Vs. 44-54)
This covenant is to be sealed with the stone that Jacob set up as a pillar. (Vs. 44-45)
Next to the stone, Jacob tells his kinsmen to gather stones to make a heap, which would be used as a table upon which they would eat. (Vs. 46-47)
Laban calls the place “Jegar-sahadutha,” meaning literally, “witness heap” in the Chaldean language.
However, Jacob calls it “Galeed.” It has the same meaning but comes from the Hebrew language.
Laban declares this heap to be the witness of the covenant they are about to make. (Vs. 48-49)
The name of the place is given yet another name: Mizpah. (Vs. 49)
“Mizpah” means “watchtower.”
This will not be the only place to bear this name, nor will it be the most prominent.
However, Laban names it this because he is stating that the Lord will be the one watching to ensure that both sides uphold the covenant.
If Jacob takes wives other than those he already has, Laban and his kinsmen might not know about it, but God will. (Vs. 50)
Laban’s final declaration. (Vs. 51-53)
He again declares the heap to be a witness. (Vs. 51-52)
The covenant is made, and Jacob will not go beyond the heap toward Laban and Laban will not pass the heap to go to Jacob, especially with malicious intent. (Vs. 52)
He seals the covenant by invoking God’s judgment over the covenant. (Vs. 53)
Jacob agrees to the covenant and offers sacrifices to God upon the mount. (Vs. 53-54)
After the sacrifices are offered; Laban, Jacob, and their kinsmen eat a meal together and stay the night in the camp of Jacob. (Vs. 54)
The next morning, Laban says goodbye to his daughters and grandsons, blesses them and heads home. (Vs. 55)
He never recovers the images that were stolen.
However, he has succeeded in setting up a “non-aggression pact” between Jacob and himself.